I was told, in many ways and many times, that I was too much. Too sensitive. Too dreamy. Too strange. Growing up with Dutch Indonesian roots on my mother's side, I know what it feels like to live between worlds. To carry a history and a culture that doesn't always have a place at the table. So I did what many of us do. I made myself smaller. I learned to adapt, to shape-shift, to keep the most alive parts of me quietly hidden. For a long time, fitting in felt safer than being seen.

The turning point came when I stumbled into a weekend about Reiki and energy work. The people there were soft and perceptive.

They used words that finally matched my inner experience. For the first time I didn't feel like too much. I felt like exactly enough.

That weekend cracked something open.

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What followed was years of deep training and personal healing. I built a professional background in social work, trained in energy healing, and studied mediumship at the Arthur Findlay College in the UK. But it was my family constellations training at the Centre for Systemic Constellations in London that became the missing link. It placed my personal story inside a much wider frame. My ancestry, my lineage, the patterns carried silently across generations. Suddenly so much made sense.